when i just say i will stop being so sticky to benjaming and stuffs.
i broke down in front of him today .

of cos not because we of things between the both of us .
but because of project,

i have de dumbest boyfriend man .
because i was damn stressed when my project couldnt work
so when he came and find me in de lab after his lessons.
i told him to go home first ,
den he stood there for a while
not knowing what happened to me.
so i stop my work for a while and told him to go home first
and guess what he really went off !!!!!
usually when a girlfriend tells her boyfriend that
he'll will tell her , its okay , he will wait for her and stuffs right ?
my didnt leh!!! and he really walked off leh ..
shihong was like stunned also lo ..
wau lau !!!
so i ran out and just hug him ...
(YES!!!! IN SCHOOL !!!! )
i didnt even bother if anyone will come out from the lab of whatsoever ..
i just needed to hug my boyfriend.
hahas, and i wet his shirt .. hahahahhahahahahs....
who cares!!! i cant possibily hug someone else already right ? hahas
and i finally feel that i'm attached again after so many days of "misunderstanding" & "lack of communication" between de both of us.

and benjamin fang shi jie ...
you better remember wad we say in de car today okay!!!!
:D you promised de :D

i dont wanna be too dependent on you .
the feeling of not having you by my side nowadays SUCK!!!
i feel useless,
but i dont wanna let you know that i'm feeling this way
(i know its kinda stupid if i say i dont wanna let you know and i'm blogging about it and everyone can read -_-""" !!!)

but it just dont feel good when you're not replying my msg-es (although i know you're busy with projects these few days)
maybe i'm de one feeling emotional for the past week ...
(PMS !! HAHA)
darling, i miss you:(

1)i'm going to be more indepedent ,
2)cannot be childish in front of you anymore :(
3)cannot disturb you when you're driving, cannot hug your hand
4)cut down on msging

and alot alot more , but i have to do my project now :(

hahas.. i just found out ..
i'm blogging quite frequently now .
like almost every night.

trying to d/l oracle for my database project now.
while waiting for the program to install .
i was blog hopping... and came across joan's blog.
hahas... read wad she post ..
the things her bf is willing to do for her :)

suddenly thought of Benjamin Fang .. hahas
(i think i should blog with his name now , darling sounds too mushy)
hahas...
i suddenly miss him , its like really damn sudden . hahas..
what joan said was right ...
cherish whatever you have in front of you now .

i mean i cant say he've done the sweetest thing for me,
but whatever he have done so far is really sufficient ..
he's there almost everytime i need him ..
maybe what i've gone through before this
(i shouldnt mention names , but i guess almost everyone know who am i talking about)
what Benjamin have done for me is really so much more.

although , we may have times when our point of view are different.
but i know those are just very small matters.
and we can overcome it :)
whatever it is ...
i'm just going to treasure whatever i have now .
:):):)



i miss you !!!

i think i really need a diet !!!

no more nonsense like i'm attached and i'm just going to let myself
gain so much weight ...
have been really eating quite alot these days.
my tummy is really coming out la..
super unglam !!!
and i dont even dare to wear smaller shirts nowadays..
my mom even commented that i look like so "da fei po"
eewww....

i shall start to cut down on carbohydrate and protein :)
more intake of fruits and vegetables..

people must motivate me alright ?

AND JOAN YONG !!! when are we going for gym !!! ???
like damn long already huhs ?

i'm like super sleepy now lo ..
1) i woke up kinda early today
2) i just ate medicine for flu

BUT i promised to wait for darling!!!!
YAWNS!!!!! :D
darling , faster reach home la :(:(:(

went back to school to do internet appliances today ..
i guess i have more or less finished up the project already..
(lets just hope that nothing happens when we compile everything together)
:):)
did from 9am to 3pm

darling had to do this major project also:)
he came down to my lab later to look for me ..
and we went to bukit timah to eat :D
darling had some dont know what ayam nasi thingy and i had chicken noodles(basically just fried noddles with chicken meat)
:):)

den darling con me to see CAR !!!
hump ... still bluff me say go teban garden ..
hahas... but never mind la... hahas...
:):)

went to labrador park after that
(dont know for wad)
just sat near the railings and talk abit ..

darling knows that i'm feeling insecured and is trying his best to not make me feel this way
but the stupid thing is he hugged me and asked if i'm secured that way
(wau liew !!! its not physically insecured la my dear , i have enough fats to make myself feel secured la !!!!)

left around 7 plus caused darling was having a terrible headache:)

darling thanks or everything , i know you were having a very bad headache today but still wanted to go out caused you've promised to go out with me today. and constantly trying to do small little things to make me feel better when i'm stress or upset.
i may not show how much i appreciate got that you've done for me , but just wanna tell you , i can really see how much you wanna make me feel happier when you see that i'm upset :)
you said my minus points are too fierce , and i like inflicting pain on you
hahas... the fierce part i really cant help it for the inflicting pain part i will try my best okay ..
and i was really joking when i said you didnt accompany me in the night and just go and sleep before me . i know i'm de abnormal one who dont sleep in de night :)
darling , just wanna tell you i lub you okay .. hahas:D
(off to lala land, you promised to come fetch me cause we always cant find our way to block3 )
hahahahaha




edited
and i forgot to add , darling is freaking stupid !!!
cos i was damn hungry while doing project , so i called melvin to acc me for breakfast/lunch ..
so i called darling when i was walkiing to the bus stop cos melvin wanted to smoke.
the next thing i know , i was darling walking out also .
and he pretended that he came out to smoke.
obviously knowing that i dont like him to smoke .
den on de car later , he admit that he came out to "spot-check" ..
damn dumb right ??
hahas... but i know he did this cos he's concerned about ME!!!
hahas... darling i love you although you realy did something damn dumb today .
hahas

sometimes , i will be thinking if we're really suitable for each other.
his interest , the topics he talks about.
will there be a day when you suddenly find that we have run out of topics to talk about ?

was blog hopping and came across this link

not sure what is it about ...
but if i'm not wrong its some free sample kinda thing ...
so ....just click on de link below okay :D
thanks thanks ... (caused its so kind of points thingy ) :)

http://www.fr3b.com/referral_program.php?referrer_token=226a7bd7759c02a66eae3faf20a38d36

he's like sleeping , and i'm like damn bored!!!!
shouldnt have let him take a nap huhs :(
hahas.. anyway ... things are getting better i guess:D
and i didnt expect him to know how to "sweet talk"
kinda weird actually ...
hahahahahahhahas...

yup .. you're :)

(something between the both of us ):)

i'm going to slp now ... :D

when i have nothing better to do ..
and there's no one and nothing to entertain me :)
i did some stupid quiz :D
results
tata!!!!




Your view on yourself:(quiz 1)
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
The seriousness of your love:You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
Your views on educationYou may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.
The right job for you:You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self:You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.


The Real You(quiz 2 )
Here is the analysis:
You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.
You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.
You strictly follow rules, and you expect other people to be the same as well. People can get tired of you easily, as you can make them feel a little guilty about themselves. You always make decisions on your own, and can be dismissive of other people's advice. You like to be the leader in groups, but can forget to be concerned about the people you are with.
Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?
Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.


What's your personality love style?( quiz 3)
Here is the analysis:Love at first sight is your style. You are not fussy about who you fall for, and often there seems to be no rational reason for you deciding to love someone, it just happens and you'll follow your heart. When you do fall for someone, you fall completely. Your love is somewhat child-like, or what people like to call "puppy love". While following your heart is important, you should also remember to use your head occasionally.

What type of personality do you have?(quiz 4 )
Bright and CheerfulYou are always cheerful and charming. You never get too serious with people when they're around, but when you are alone, you think carefully about what they have said. That's because you don't want anyone to see you being too somber. Your personality means you have a lot of friends and you are often the center of attention. Many people who fall into this category become artists and movie stars, perhaps fame could be yours in the future as well.

What does being a friend really mean to you?( quiz 5)
You value your friendships: 30%You value your friendships quite a lot but you don't like to show your feelings to others. You would rather keep your feelings to yourself than share them with your friends. You might get a pleasant surprise if you are more open about caring for people - they will probably let you know that you're special to them, too.

like i've said , the day i can let go of everything is the day , i will delete everything i blog about him before :)
i have done so :) (although , i'm not sure if i had cos i'm like half awake now .. lols)
deleting everything now doesnt affects me at all :)
i actually feel happy, the burden and doubts woke me up ..
i cant deny i will still think about the times we had together once in a while.
BUT !!!! i will never wanna go back to those days. :)

just a simple update about what's going on ...
just having lessons like every single day , but after term break , we found out that we tend to slack more already ... skipping lecture and sometimes even lessons (what we call clear leave) hahas:)

i really have nothing much to blog about :)

anyway .. people may think that i'm happier now and stuffs ... true enough i WAS ..
but no more , after certain incidents and maybe misunderstandings ...
i dont feel those kind of concern anymore. but i know i did try :)
so whatever is de outcome isnt up to me to decide :)

tts all people :)


i miss him :(
yup... that fast ?
why huhs...
i feel weird!!!
especially when he seems so cant be bothered at all ..
going to sleep when he say talk online
i can understand cos he's really tired today .
but at least i msg that sounds abit better right ?
argh!!!
i know i know .. shihong is going to tell me the same old thing again
"he also not your who arhs !!!" hais..
forget it man :(